I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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