I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
