im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize