my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize
