He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
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