What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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