This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
