I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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