I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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