She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Randomize
