I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
