Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize
