Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
