Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Randomize
