dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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