mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
