He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
did i walk over a car last night?
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
