And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
