I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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