She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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