how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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