I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
wow bdsm is so cute
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
