There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
