I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
