fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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