I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
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