so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
