i don't like sucking hair
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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