dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Randomize
