Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
