i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
