you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
