And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Four minutes until I can fart!
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize
