Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
