Your tits are I can't wait for
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
