I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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