I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
