We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
