I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
There r osticjed everywhere
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Randomize
