I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
