Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
