butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
She's the barista slut.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
