I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Randomize
