I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
