You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
