Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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