so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
