i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
