I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Can I color on your dick again?
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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