U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
